$100 to a million in 3 years

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Deliverance, Ambivalence and Comedic Incompetence

Deliverance (Getting fucked in the arse by a river)

I played a crazy live tournament the other night with a run of sick rivers i have never seen the likes of before. Every big pot i played in someone got 'deliveranced' (have i coined it?). I could work out the cumulative odds but i can't be bothered. I delivered my fair share and received my fair share. Here are some i can remember -

Early in re buys - 3 way all in on the turn, me = nut flush, oppo 1 = K high flush, oppo 2 Q high flush. 1 outer to straight flush for oppo 2 duly delivered. Squeal piggy.

Middle of re buys and i get the chips back from oppo 2 in the previous hand. - Me AQ, oppo AK. Flop = AA10, all in on flop. River Q. Oh squeal piggy, he bitched about this as well even after i reminded him of his table thumping when he hit a 1 outer earlier.

Late in re buys - Me = KK, mateyboy = 56s. Flop K69 one of his suit. All in flop, runner runner flush. Scream out loud piggy.

Still late in Re buys - Me = KQ, Oppo A10os. Flop KKA. All in on flop, turn = rag. River, hmm A. Squeal me.

20 mins after end of re buys - Me = QQ oppo = A8. All in pre flop, Flop A88. Guess the river??? Q. Squeal lady piggy.

Bit Later - Me = AA, oppo KK. all in on rag flop, guess the river. K. Squeal me, especially at table thumping celebration, but i shall deliver my revenge!!

Final Table 2nd hand - Me = KK, Mateyboy = 55. All in pre flop. Flop and turn Q976, river 8. Squeal me. Mateyboy said sorry, never say sorry, because you don't mean it.

Later on Final table - Me = 52os, Oppo = 109s. All in Pre flop in blinds.. errr. Flop K43, 2of his suit, turn 9. Guess the river... Aos. Squeal river K hitting mateyboy.

Even later on Final table - Me = JJ in sb - Oppo A9 in BB. All in pre flop. Flop 9xx, turn x, Guess the river... 9. Squeal me.

My final hand (3 handed) - Me = A5 os - Oppo AQ. Flop A25. All in on flop. Turn 10. River ..... 10. Squeal dejectedly away.

Damn it was a fun tournament.


My reaction to beats or bad play gets less and less emotional all the time. I still lose my rag massively sometimes at home, tilt tilt tilt. But live i don't even bat an eyelid, this scares the other players a bit to which always helps.

You have to get over taking beats or your judgment will be forever clouded with emotion rather than the cold hard facts.

You take care of your bit and let odds take care of themselves.

Comedic Incompetence

Playing some roulette after busting out the other night a croupier made my night with a catastrophic 5 minutes of slapstick fuck ups.

She arrives at the table and i am the first to request a colour, all four stacks collapse accross the layout as she tries to push it over 3 times in a row, on the fourth time i lean over and grab it myself, which she seems quite happy about.

Everyone else gets sorted and she spins the wheel. One matey is calling out his bets and his last bet involves a few bets with the last being 17 and the splits by £1. She fails to place this bet. The ball lands in 20 (a split of 17 for those who don't know).
Matey asks where his final bet is before she places the dolly on the table.
A quick chat with pit boss confirms bet was called.
She for some reason doesn't now place the bet but puts the dolly on 17 and clears the layout. LOL.
The mistake is swiftly pointed out but it's to late.

£1 is now placed and matey who called the bets points out he had 3 chips on 20.
Pit boss (head in hands) tries to attract attention of camera watchers, but this is taking a while.
While we are waiting, i request some more colour as does the guy next to me with 2 £5 chips, she places these on the rim of the wheel.
We now go through chip stacks scatterd accross the layout performance again, finally this is resolved (i lean over and grab them).
Croupier now goes for the 2 £5 but knocks them into the wheel. Me = LOL, croupier now just shaking her head demending that she be taken off.
Croupier retrieves the 2 x £5 chips and gives them to the guy who is waiting for the camera decision on his 3 chips on 20.
Guy who passed over the 2 x £5 chips waits a shortwhile before asking if he can have his £10 back. He is foreign but perfectly understanble.
Croupier tells pit boss that guy is saying he also had £10 on 20, (i am now in convulsions and think i may burst).
Croupier desperately trying to get camera guys attention now.
Croupier has small argument with foreign guy questioning his claim for money on 20 until someone explains that he would just like his £10 back.
Pit boss gives up trying to get the attention of camera guy and informs the croupier to just pay out anything we say we had.
£10 bloke now looks a bit miffed having done himself out of £350.
Croupier now payout 3 chips on 20 guy with my colour which she again carnages acroos the layout. ROFLMAO.
Finally, croupier red faced, pit boss looking like hes on the verge of coronary and table of wildly amused punters we are ready for the next spin.
I would love to say she now launched the ball accross the room trying to spin and hit someone in the eye but sadly she didn't make another mistake.

Gl at the tables



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